Ang cute ko dito...

Minsan cute ako.

Check it out...

 

I'm with our new dog, Jinkie.

Also, people are noticing my arm here. Awesome. High five, bitches.

ABS Diary

Jogged yesterday with Angela and Uchi. Uchi and I incorporated the natural environs to our workout, doing crunches in elevated flat surfaces, doing pull ups whenever we'd see a bar over our heads.

I am currently 150+ lbs at my modest height of 5'7". That's classified as obese, says the last time I had our APE.

Celebrity Ako, Yata

Recently, I gained a new Twitter follower: http://twitter.com/#!/ANTIChRISTYferm

Being a digital and social media guru, I was curious to find out who are these people interested in following my 140-characters-long ramblings. My modest following of 400-or-so are mostly people I know: friends, friends I've worked with, readers of my book.

Thus it is with such joy that I discovered my new Twitter follower to be a celebrity hater.

With a quick survey of his/her tweets, you'll know that the twitter account was made primarily to troll on celebrities, often giving snarky comments and replies to tweets by celebs.

And thus, being one of the few people he/she is following, I am flattered by this miscalculation of my influence. Certainly, I'm far from being as influential as the rest of the people on his/her list!

But

But what if I am?

What if this is that point in my life when people start noticing that I do have some considerable degree of influence? That with a simple tweet, I can sway a good number of people to make certain choices?

Oh, but these thoughts are too taxing. I think I'm going to rest now and eat DORITOS with PEPSI on my bed, as I think of ways to raise money so I an buy a new SAMSUNG GALAXY ACE.

ABS Diary 1

I'll be dedicating a good part of my Ego's Blog to the documentation and tracking of the progress of my abdominal development.

I got this brilliant idea from COACH, a special release from Men's Health Philippines. One of their tips is to keep track of your progress, so I thought, what's a better way to do it than publicly.

By tracking the development of my abdominals publicly, I'll be motivated by this age's strongest influencer: Peer Pressure. By subjecting myself to ridicule, to the public's ever critical eye, I'll be motivating myself to prove everyone wrong. That's just how my ego works, bitches. You bring me down, I'll only rise up.

So, there. This is my ABS DIARY ENTRY Numero Uno.

Current State: Around the area where a washboard should appear in a few months, loosely hang a pouch-like bodily formation. I have earned this pouch, and I have earned it hard. Now, to lose it, I'll have to push myself even harder.

How bad is the situation: My abdominal muscles are evident... But your imagination is required. So is your belief that it's there, yes, by god, it's there all right. You have to look at this pouch-like formation for a good quarter of an hour without blinking.

What I'm currently doing about it: For the past few days, my friend Angela and I have been jogging around the UP Academic Oval. We are regularly joined by various friends. People from our offices, mostly.

Shirtless and Swollen

What am I aiming for: I want killer 6-packs, bitches. I want abs so mean, 17-yo college dudes would want to eat sushi off of it. I want your girlfriend wanting to rub her pussy on my abs, and by doing so, she'll be rewarded with the sensation akin to having the world's largest string of pearls running across her vadge. I want abs so kick ass, I can go to church shirtless and they'll all go, Oh, that's all right then, Jesus would approve. I want 6-packs so bad, Men's Health will have me on speed dial, and I'll be all, like, "Oh, this Thursday, you mean? Sorry, mate, I'm like busy with a pitch or a bitch or whatever's clever that day. I'm good on Tuesday for the cover shoot, but you have to pick me up from my office, and I don't want uglies on the set, I'm fuckin allergic to uglies, mate." And they'll be like, OH, all right, Mr. Malvar, our MH cover guy for July, we're giving in to your whims and all.  I want killer abs so fuckin killer they'll kill killers, and people will go like "If ABS can kill, Siege's is the Jason Ivler of ABS." I want my abs on the cover of my next book, and people will be generally seeing me as  piece of meat, thereby lowering their expectations, catching them off guard with my sudden bursts of brilliant eloquence and insight. 

THAT's what I fucking want.

Yes, It's True

My ego is so fucking big, it has its own blog.

"Why do you need a blog for your own ego, Siege Malvar?" you wonder, because that's what you do, you wonder about my motivations, my intents, having no original motivations of your own.

I say, "meh."

SO, yeah. This is my ego's blog. I don't fucking care if you don't fucking read it, if no one does. I'm not even asking you to read my this in the first place. So fuck you if you get offended, this is my ego's blog, no one's making you read.

This is where I'll be dumping the most vapid of my thoughts, the shallowest of my concerns. This is like my brain's crap. Do you like watching crap? Are you fascinated by waste products? Then this blog's for you.

You can't possibly have an opinion of this blog that's WORSE than mine. This is the lowest crap of writing that I can possible produce, so if you call it crappy then you're reaffirming me, proves me right, which again, makes my opinion superior to yours. If you're here, reading this blog, and you're complaining coz it's crappy, it's shit, it's a waste of time, it's offensive, well guess what, I never said it's more than any of those in the fuckin first place.

So, yeah. Welcome. Read at your own risk, bitches.